Joe Biden: I’ll miss him like I miss…Teresa Heinz Kerry
I’m so relieved the chance of me getting a j-o-b-s next summer seems a bit more realistic now that Joe the Plumber has done a little eye-opening for the nation. That is to say, if McCain gets elected, taxes won’t go up, businesses won’t go down, bosses will still be hiring.
And as always that bit of relief was provided by the Gaffemeister Joe Biden, whose experimental-level invented spelling gives us new reason to trust our own instincts against a guy whose knowledge of television history is apparently no better than Katie Couric’s. (Reminder: Couric is a televison anchor who doesn’t seem to know when the medium was invented.)
OK, let’s give credit where credit due. Biden at least tries to know when to keep his mouth shut.
I’ve been able to perk up thanks to Dr. Jim. Of course his job was made easier by the fact that I don’t have TV, but the advice to “get outta here” was well heeded. I fell asleep and when I came to there was no Joe anywhere. In fact, thinking back on it, I hadn’t heard about him for days. Was it because he is hidden away, or has the debate simply taken over the waves? Whatever the reason, he’s gone. And I sort of miss him.
Remember the days when Teresa Heinz Kerry used to say things like “shove it” and pass judgments about what constitutes a “real” job? Now we have Michelle Obama providing the entertainment as she reminds us how her husband will rescue us from our pathetic lives–although she, too, has been kept under wraps for a while. And the Obama campaign has been relying on the media toxicity Treacher references to do us in while we have nothing to diffuse it–no Teresa, no Joe, no Michelle. For awhile we had Alaskan weaponry that kept the infection at bay, but then it renewed its attack with every bit of determined-to-decimate power it had, and the one by one went inhabitants of the blogosphere and real life in some sort of Malthusian population control probably viewed by those on the left as providential. Not only were they ruthless, but also delighted.
Biden had been providing the standup to get us through those trying moments, but they may have realized he was the unwitting antidote because then suddenly he was gone. We were left flailing and sinking until someone finally said, “Get a grip.” And enter Joe the Plumber, who questioned the Dear Leader without flinching an eye; he may be the subject of folk songs currently being written, and things seem to be looking up. Ace seems to be making a nice recovery (while not getting giddy) and although I had my doubts about Allah, he appears to be trying.
Of course, the real answer will come 4 November and until then Joe’s cape design will be on hold since the left will be obliged to go through his trash, but I can safely say that even if the polls don’t read as I’d like them to, I have good reasons to believe they won’t result in the onset of buboes: 1) lies anyway; 2) PUMAs; and 3) that cold turkey bit was a godsend.
In the meantime, I’m hoping they’ll slip up and send the Gaffemeister out again, perhaps deluded by some idea they usually have that the debate for them was a smashing success and nationwide recognition of the racism inherent in every single word coming from our mouths (fingertips) only discredits us. Since they perceive ordinary Americans to be very stupid, they probably don’t believe that “95% of taxpayers” eventually starts to ring bells with these people, sort of in the same way as when an agency claims “100%” results. Even a five year old recognizes on some level that homogenous thought is not natural: a few days ago, while engaging in gross exaggeration I said something about “everybody” parading around in love with Obama; overhearing me my son replied, “Well, not everybody.”
Well, if McCain wins, I suppose we have liberal rage to look forward to–you know, Susan Sarandon-type attacks, more whinging about “stolen” states and of course there probably will always be those only too willing to disgrace themselves in public via their intellectual “wit.” (Think black shirts with neon green letters.) I wonder if Joe will be toddling along for the ride or still chasing after people with his idiotic, fomenting spit. Och well, no worries. It was medicinal while it was needed, but hopefully I can move on to missing his charm about as much as I miss what-I-probably-am-not-allowed-to-say-because-it-is-racist.